Questions To Ask Your Fiance Before Getting Married

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Léa is a writer and actor based in London. She writes and speaks on many topics such as sex, dating, feminism, politics and addiction.

Questions To Ask Your Fiance Before Getting Married

Questions To Ask Your Fiance Before Getting Married

Landis Bejar is a New York State mental health consultant and founder of AisleTalk: Conversation & Therapy.

Questions To Ask Before Getting Married

When we think about finding someone, falling in love, and solving problems, we rarely think about one of the consequences of marriage: divorce. Divorce is unfortunately a part of some relationships, but there is a fine line between reality and fear – even if divorce is going to happen, that doesn’t mean it has to happen. try for you. Although you can’t stop life from getting in the way (and the unexpected problems and obstacles that can get in your way), you can make sure that your way relationship is as strong as possible to protect it. And in fact it started before marriage.

Although you might think that everyone has a big, important conversation before tying the knot, you’d be surprised how many things get swept under the rug or completely ignored. . Asking the right questions can get you off on the right foot in marriage and help prevent divorce. “A lot of people start having these conversations when they’re engaged and then think it’s too late,” says marriage therapist Hatty J. Lee.

Hatty J. Lee, L.M.F.T, is a marriage therapist and founder of Oak and Stone Therapy in California.

It is normal to disagree about something. The most important thing is to encourage open and honest discussion. Lee reminded the couple that there is always “a deeper dimension” in human affairs. Whether it’s being a good spouse or parent or the fear of conflict, couples need to find ways to recognize these fears and build a sense of security around them. . If you are still blind? Don’t lie. “It is very important to ask, is it desirable or not negotiable? Even if you do not agree with most, but everything is negotiable, you can work yes,” he said.

Premarital Questions To Ask Before Marriage

However, if the disagreement hurts, know that it’s perfectly fine to take a break from your relationship – at least until you work it out. “If at some point you realize that both of you are in danger, the relationship is full of passion for each other, stop and relax don’t rush and force yourself to continue the process,” Lee said. “Problems won’t go away. Everything you can’t solve can be solved when you’re married.”

And if you feel a question coming up, go ahead and ask. “You can ask any question whenever you want, because at the end of the day, if you think about it and if it’s important to you, you don’t want to waste your time.” Just remember from a weak point and explain why this is important to you.

Here are 12 questions you should ask your partner before getting married, because an uncomfortable conversation now can save a lot of pain later.

Questions To Ask Your Fiance Before Getting Married

First, you need to talk about money. Money can be a big stressor in a relationship, so it’s important to be on the same page early on. Asking about financial goals is better than saying, “Why can’t you pay your bills on time, but you take out the garbage three nights a week?”

Questions To Ask Your Spouse Besides

“It’s a huge pain for many couples,” Lee said. He said to jump into debt, spend and save. Ask questions like: How will you split the costs? Do you have financial expectations based on your gender? Should we pool our money? How do we make the importance of use?

You want to start a conversation and understand if you agree financially – not about how much you earn, but about how you view and manage money.

One of the best things you can do for your spouse is to learn to help them when they are feeling down. Some people need validation, others space, some people a pep talk – everyone is different. But when we are really stressed and struggling, we will not be able to communicate all these needs. Finding out what you need first means you and your partner can help each other and prevent stress when it happens.

You’d think everyone would talk about children before marriage – but sometimes it doesn’t happen. While you have to talk about whether you like them or not, you also have to have a broader conversation. Struggling to get pregnant can take a toll on a relationship, and this is not the time to realize that one of you wants to go through IVF and the other thinks it’s too difficult – or that one of you ready to receive and others are not ‘t. Although your opinions may change over time, when and if you are in that position, speaking up early will allow you to enter the situation as a group.

Financial Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married

If you want kids and bugs, great! The next question is how to raise them. Lee suggests asking the following questions: “If we have children, what are your expectations of child care and parenting? Do you have expectations of gender? Are you a woman? What is your purpose? The situation – do we work and take care of children? Do you want to stay at home?” Also talk about how each partner was raised and your likes and dislikes.

Everyone has heard that communication is important to a relationship, but it can be difficult to communicate well when both of you have different communication skills. So while this sounds meta, talk about communication. Do you need time to think about things? Will anyone talk about the cuff and regret it? Are you better at communicating in writing? Open the communication problem and everything will be easier.

Everything has a crime. It can be about the same things – if you want children, what faith you want them to grow up, what you want from a partner, but they can also be very different. Deal breakers can be where you live, passion projects you want to pursue, or career goals you need support to achieve. Knowing these non-negotiables will give you a better idea of ​​the landscape of your future and whether it will work for both of you. If the competition is competitive, your marriage will have a better chance.

Questions To Ask Your Fiance Before Getting Married

Everyone needs alone time, but some need it more than others. If you don’t know that alone time is what your partner needs, you might think that they are withdrawn, angry, or upset when they are looking for space. Knowing early on that you both need time alone – and what it looks like – will not only strengthen your relationship, but also prevent confusion in the future. .

Here’s A Checklist Of Tabooed Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married

This may not be an easy question, but it will help you understand what makes a tick. Marriage is about understanding – and not just understanding your hopes, dreams and goals. It’s also about understanding fear, sadness, and depression—especially when it comes to marriage. Make sure you ask the hard questions and your marriage will be more understanding.

“There are a lot of people where they grow up in a family where marriage is not a good thing,” Lee said. “Have an honest conversation about it. Be mindful and aware of these fears and talk about them together.”

When trying to create a new family, it is necessary to create limits for women in women. “There are a lot of people who are still connected to their family history in a way that they feel like they’re just kids trying to please their family,” Lee said. While close family is attractive, it can present problems later, especially if you and your partner’s family don’t see each other.

“The bigger question is, if we get married, how will you prioritize our relationship?” he said. “If your parents want one thing and I want another, what do you think about that? What is your plan for taking care of our new family as a couple? Do you see we spend time with your family?” are some of the questions that are being asked.

Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner

“Do you have any thoughts about what you are looking for in marriage and relationships?” a question you should be asking too, according to Lee. Your partner may be daydreaming about cooking at home, a night out every week, going on a trip, or working on a relationship, but that’s not what you want. Need to know about marriage to avoid surprises and disappointments after the wedding.

Partners may have different views on what sex should happen in a marriage, and it is important to honestly explore relationship expectations. “That’s part of it

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